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Shady Vibrations by faithdaria

Shady Vibrations
By FaithDaria
Rating: Teen, for innuendo
Genre: humor
Disclaimer: All props to Marvel and Stan Lee, to whom Spider-Man/Peter Parker belong.
Summary: Just a little fun, inspired by the Batman Beyond episode “Out of the Past.”

Spider-Man swung around the corner of the building and waited until he was sure no one was watching before climbing into the window. He changed gratefully out of his costume (he’d had to go down into the sewers earlier, and could still smell it on the spandex) and threw on jeans and a T-shirt.

Then he stepped out of his bedroom and into what looked to be a very big problem.

Mary Jane was sitting at the tiny kitchen table, her head in her hands and her shoulders shaking with emotion. Peter knew a moment of pure terror. “What’s wrong?”

She looked up, her face streaked with tears, and that’s when he saw it.

She was laughing.

“Oookay,” he drawled. “This is different.”

MJ made an effort to calm down and explain. “My agent,” she began, before erupting into fresh giggles. Peter raised his eyebrows at his normally contained wife and sat down. This was going to take a while. Eventually she regained control and could look at Peter without collapsing into hysterics, although she couldn’t stop smiling. “My agent sent over a script this morning,” she said. “It’s for a new musical on Broadway. About Spider-Man.”

He really needed to trademark the name so this kind of thing couldn’t happen. “And?”

Her smile widened. “Apparently, our friendly neighborhood wall-crawler uses his costume to hide his sexuality.” MJ’s green eyes were bright with repressed laughter.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“Sorry,” she said, her tone unrepentant. “Oh, and according to the script, Spider-Man’s battles are all about his father issues. It seems his father was distant and unavailable, possibly repressing his own problems with his sexuality.”

“Good grief,” Peter said, rolling his eyes. “What part would you play in this?”

“The best friend who is trying to bring him out of the closet, even though she’s halfway in love with him. It’s a great part.”

“Except for the piece where they’re saying your husband is gay.” He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck. “Guess I’m going to have to sweep you up and prove my masculinity.”

“I’d never be able to keep a straight face when they brought out the costume,” MJ sighed. “I guess I’ll go audition for MacBeth instead.”